5 ways you're being taken advantage of by your friends
friendship means different things to different people. however, regardless of who you are or where you’ve come from, most of us can agree that all friendships should be grounded in reciprocity. keyword, should. reciprocity means that “one hand washes the other” and that each person that you’re friends with puts just as much into your friendship with you that they take out of it (and vice versa). but unfortunately, reciprocity isn’t always reciprocated *try saying that 3 times real fast). and you know why? ‘cause people always trying to get over. and to be honest, it’s just really sad and we’ve gotta cut it out. whether you’re someone who has been taking advantage of someone else or the one that’s being taken advantage of, start treating your friends with some more respect and requiring that they do the same to you. here’s a few ways you know if one of your friends is taking advantage of you…
5). they never pick up the check.
remember in high school when you only ate at restaurants that allowed you to split the check fifteen times for everybody at the table? well, nobody really does that anymore, if we’re being honest. these days, most people just split the check evenly…and if y'all are real, real, real tight…you might even hit ‘em with the “it’s cool, i got this one” because you know next time, they’ll be the one to pick up the check, ya know? but if you’re the only one that’s always reaching for the check, issa problem. if they always hit you with the “i’m going to quickpay you” and they never do… issa issue. and if they always conveniently end up having to use the bathroom when the waiter is bringing the check to the table…issa setup. stop letting your friends play you. they keep doing that to you because you allow it.
4). they always want you to drive everywhere.
with the way gas prices are set up these days, carpooling is always the move. but when you’re the only driver participating in the carpool all the time, not so much. if your friends are always hopping in your car, hitting you with stuff like “i hate driving”, “my check engine light came on”, “i don’t have no gas” and the like… you’re likely being taken advantage of…especially if they’re not even offering no gas money. now don’t get me wrong, if there’s a consistent “carpool-tation” happening where the driving is evenly distributed among everyone, then there’s no need for gas money. but if it’s always 7 o’clock and the whole gang is always in my drop top cruising the streets, ima need a little something on the gas. fact of the matter is, we gotta stop taking advantage of people and calling it friendship when it’s simply a relationship based off what the other person can do for you.
3). they’re always asking you to borrow a couple coins.
i get it.. you’re the type of person that doesn’t mind lending money to your friends when you have it to give. but one thing i don’t rock with is a friend who’ll try to play you like a goofy. i’ve seen so many people take advantage of their friends when it comes to money. and you know which ones i’m talking about too. some people probably came to mind as you were reading this, and that’s ok. if your friend asks you to borrow money and they still have not paid you back from the last time they borrowed some money, that friend is taking advantage of you bro. if your friend told you that they needed to borrow money for their rent or car note, but you see them soon after spending money on a vacation, tinted windows, new shoes, and whatever else, that friend is taking advantage of you, sis. and If your friend’s requests for money seem to coincide with your pay schedule, that’s not a coincidence, g. you’re being taken advantage of. i know your heart may be big but guess what, people’s greed is big too. and the crazy thing is, it’s not even always about being paid back, either. it’s literally about the principle. like, don’t say you’re going to pay me back next week but you really meant next month. don’t ask to borrow $100 from me and say you’re going to give it back tomorrow, but then you request to pay me back in installments of $10 for the next ten weeks. you’d think this type of stuff would be common sense, but it’s not. and the sad part is, it be your own friends that are the main perpetuators. that’s not what friendship is about, though. i shouldn’t have to inquire to you about when you are going to pay me back money that you borrowed from me. you gotta learn to pay your friends back with the same intensity, spunk and humility you had when you were asking for the money in the first place. wanna stop being taken advantage of as it comes to money? stop lending it out. you’re probably just enabling them to make bad decisions with their own money without consequence, anyway.
2). they never want to pay your for your skills.
if you’re an entrepreneur, you’ve probably dealt with this a lot. whether you’re a photographer whose friends always expect them to take photos at events, a writer whose friends always expect them to write all of their company emails, or a baker whose friends always expect them to make the food, one thing remains the same — you're going to come across people who want you to use your talents for the free. in their minds, "it won’t take you no time” to do the favor for them because you’d be "operating in your gift". however, they could not be more wrong. regardless of how gifted you are in your chosen craft, it will always take time for you to complete a task. and time is something you can’t get back after it’s spent. i know you may feel obligated to look out for your peeps every now and again, but you really need to let that obligation go. it’s not an efficient use of your time, skill, or energy and if your friends cannot respect that, they can keep it moving. it’s hard enough as is being an entrepreneur without having your friends accusing you of being “fake” and “phony” because you won’t cut them a deal for the low. get outta here with all of that, seriously. if you’re trying to rid yourself of these types of friends, the best thing you can do for yourself is be consistent with your pricing, regardless of who it is. forreal. you'll thank yourself for it later.
1). they’re always asking you to intercede on their behalf.
you’ve been working overtime to keep your spiritual self in check. you’re fasting, you’re meditating, you’re going to church, studying the Word and are even making strides to actually apply these teachings to your daily life. you’ve cut out unnecessary drinking and smoking and have a whole new level of accountability for yourself. but it seems like you just can’t get to that area of … and you may be asking yourself, “why am i not getting God’s full attention?” well, the answer is simple… because you aren’t giving Him all of yours. every time your friends hit you up for prayer, you stop what you’re doing to do it…because that’s the type of person you are (which is fine). but when what you’re doing for others begins to conflict with what you should be doing for yourself… that’s not fine. your line stay blowing up with prayer requests from your friends and you’re giving so much of yourself while pouring into them that there is next to nothing left to pour into you. and then it’s like.. what makes matters worse is..when you need prayer, and when you need someone to speak life over you, there’s nobody there to pray for you. and i know you may feel like friends are supposed to pray for one another — but the need for reciprocity is real out here, folks. you’ve gotta be mindful over how you allocate your energy. don’t let your friends take advantage of you for prayer. all they’re doing is leveraging your relationship with God as their own rather than working to establish one of their own. it’s hella lazy and ultimately counterproductive to what you’re trying to accomplish in your own life. forreal.