6 acts of chivalry that today's millennial women take for granted
with all that is happening in today's world, it seems like things are always changing. our tastes in music, our friends, our career paths; changes among changes among changes. yet, even in the midst of all the changes we may experience, i believe that some things should stay consistent, like acts of chivalry. now, some of these acts of chivalry may be outdated (like putting down your coat for a woman to walk over a puddle), but some of them are still relevant today. as a millennial male, i was raised to exude chivalry in all areas of my life. one of the most annoying things is when these acts of chivalry are not appreciated by the women i encounter. and no, i am not saying i need validation from women to be able to exude chivalrous acts. however, i do think it is important for women to acknowledge these acts because at the end of the day, chivalry is a privilege...not a right. the issue (i think) is that young boys are being raised to do certain things (without explanation of why they are important) and young girls are being raised to expect these things (without explanation of what these things say about a man's character). needless to say, here's some (not all) of the chivalrous acts i extend toward women without so much as a thank you, which is really all it takes to show the gesture is appreciated and didn't go unnoticed, ya know?
6). offering a compliment.
in today's day and age (especially in chicago), a man can't give a woman a compliment without being considered "thirsty". i've seen it happen before to my friends and i've also had it happen to me. you give a compliment, and you're either met with resting ___ face (ya'll know what i'm talking about here), they don't acknowledge the compliment, or they give you some sort of dry response that completely dismisses what you said. i think that's real lame. ladies, just because a guy gives you a (sincere) compliment, doesn't mean he's trying to sleep with you. and if you say it does, maybe you've surrounded yourself with the wrong types of men, which could low key be a blog post for another day. all you have to do is say, thank you (without an attitude or facial expression that indicates you know you are the ish..). ultimately, you'll be real salty if the compliments you take for granted stop rolling in across the board. then, you'll be out here thinking you're ugly and stuff as you start wearing less and going out more *drake voice*. do me a favor, don't make the argument deeper than what it is by claiming that you don't need a man's compliment to validate yourself-- that's not the point.
5). paying for a meal or drink.
whether you are on a date, at a party, or out with friends, guys sometimes make the decision to buy a meal or drink for their female counterparts. the problem (again) is that millennial women seem to think this is a mandatory thing, when in reality, it's a (guy's) choice. let's say i ask a woman out on a date and i only pay for my own meal. would that be considered petty? most people would say probably so. but at the same time, if i ask her out and i do pay for both of our meals and she doesn't thank me.. would she be petty? most people may not think so because that's what i was "supposed" to do as the man. but, the operative word there is "supposed". fact of the matter is, i don't have to do anything that i don't want to do. hence, just because a societal norm calls for me to pay for a meal or a drink for a woman i'm courting does not make it is more of a right and less of a privilege. tip: trade in the sense of entitlement for some humility. a simple 'thank you' goes a long way.
4). walking on the outside of the sidewalk.
this one is not well known, but it's still a sign of chivalry. in my mind, most men don't know to do this and most women don't know to expect it...which is why they aren't appreciative of it. however, for those of us who do take the initiative to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, millennial women should take note. it's a simple gesture, but it says a lot about the man's willingness to protect you and/or put your safety before his own...just in case you were wondering.
3). offering a woman your seat, especially when there aren't any available.
now i'll admit, sometimes, women do thank me for giving them my seat (whether it's on the bus, train, or at an event). however, more often than not... they don't. instead, i'm usually greeted with a smile when i give my seat up to a woman. but the way i see it... if anything, a smile should supplement a verbal 'thank you'; it shouldn't replace it. now, again it's one of those tricky things because i've heard women say, "well, i didn't ask him to give me his seat." but nevertheless, you took the seat, right? i feel like most millennial women surveillance an area and when they don't see an empty seat, they look at how many males are seated and theorize on which one is going to give up their seat. now i could be wrong, it's just a theory. however, i'm just saying...if a man respects you enough to give a you his seat so he can stand in your place, it's good practice to return the gesture with a simple 'thank you' because they didn't have to do it.
2). exuding a strong fashion sense.
bottom line, millennial women have got to stop dismissing every guy who cares about how he dresses and exudes a strong fashion sense as 'gay'. that's an inaccurate assumption. as a matter of fact, dressing with style and implementing a 'forward thinking' style of dressing is reflective of the level of respect a man has toward you, which is something that should be appreciated. chivalry correlates with a man's level of respect for a woman. and, it's respectful for him to want to give you something appealing to look at because even though people don't like to admit it, looks do matter. they may not be "everything".....but looks matter, forreal.
1). holding the door open.
this one here is the ultimate offense for millennial women. if i had one dollar for each time i held the door open and a woman did not say 'thank you', i'd never have to work a day in my life. i mean, it's legit gotten horrible. millennial women will walk through the door with their cell phone in their ear and won't even acknowledge the fact that you held the door open for them. it's like they think that every door they walk into automatically parts so they can walk through. but at the same time, if you don't hold the door open...they'll be quick to say you don't have home training. well, ma'am..someone should've trained you on the art of gratitude because that's just as important.