#AllDadsMatter : 5 reasons you should honor & respect your absentee father
every year, social media and the marketing world goes bananas over mother’s day. there’s all types of specials and discounts being given at retailers, broadcast networks begin showing “mom” themed movies and let’s not forget the “i love mom” facebook filter that happened last month. yes, mother’s day is always made into a “big deal” and rightfully so, because moms do a lot (generally speaking). yet, one month later, father’s day rolls around. there are some retail discounts and commercials (but not nearly as many as for mother’s day), hardly any broadcast networks are showing “dad” themed movies, and i guess facebook didn’t have anyone on staff this time around that was capable of making a "i love dad" filter. why is that, you may ask? it’s simple: society teaches us to honor our moms and tolerate our dads. more and more, moms are depicted as the alpha parent whereas dads get a bad reputation for being no good, distant and in some cases, non-existent. well, I’ve got news for you…dad is still dad and he will forever be, dad. now, don’t go and get "all technical” on me and say, “i have a father, not a dad.” i looked it up and the definition of “dad” is “one’s father”, so it’s best we save the theatrics and the self construed definitions. here’s why I think everyone should honor their father, regardless of your perceived perception of him.
5). everyone makes mistakes; nobody's perfect.
everyone makes mistakes (not just your dad). we have to learn to give one another a little grace to learn from our mistakes and improve. we are all students of life, and none of us are on the exact same trajectory of learning. try getting rid of the ridiculously high standards and the dismissive attitude toward dad. give him the same grace and understanding that you give that boyfriend/girlfriend who can’t seem to get it right, either. basically, we have to learn to meet people where they are and go from there because none of us are perfect, so we are prone to make some mistakes throughout this thing called life.
4). forgiveness is therapeutic.
i know it may be difficult, but sometimes, forgiveness is the key to you unlocking the next great thing in your life. when you harbor animosity and hatred toward your dad for everything you feel like he didn’t get right, you leave little to know room for love and forgiveness---which are two things you’ll ultimately need if you honestly want to restore (or establish) a relationship with your dad.
3). whatever happened between your parents is between them, not you and them.
this one kinda ties in with the point about forgiveness. sometimes, we take on the battles and struggles of our parents. in doing so, we also adopt the thoughts, perspectives and behaviors of our “preferred” parent toward our absentee one. while it may seem like this is the right thing to do, we have to understand that there’s always three sides to a story: yours, mine, and the fact. what I mean by that is almost everything (if not everything) we hear is subjective. sometimes, our parents can inadvertently rewrite history to more closely align with the perception they want their kids to develop. at the end of the day, no one can truly know what happened between two people like those individuals themselves. i’ve learned that it’s beneficial to not take on the battles of our parents. it only makes you harbor feelings that aren’t yours toward a person you may not have even taken the chance to get to know in the first place, which is not fair.
2). without your father, you would not be here (nor would you be who you are).
some of us act as though the stork dropped us off at our mother’s doorstep. the reality of the situation is that without both of our parents (not just one), we would not have come into existence. regardless of how complex (or basic) your relationship is with your father, he is still a very critical component of your existence. and whether you admit it or not, your dad's presence (or absence) has played a vital part in the person you've grown into today. you have to understand that because of them (mom and dad), we are. i believe this realization alone deserves some respect.
1). it aligns with the will of God.
i’ll make this one short and sweet for you. 1 john 5: 3 reads “for this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. and his commandments are not burdensome.” similarly, the fifth commandment instructs us to “honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.” take heed, people. take heed. as a christian, we don't have the right to choose who we love and who we despise, or who gets our respect and who doesn't. we have to be consistent and how we portray love and respect to God's people, and that includes your dad.